Oh dear . . . panicking

That feeling where your chest is super tight and breathing is an effort, as in, you can’t seem to really get a deep breath, or you’re forgetting to breathe, and you’re sort of shaking like you’ve had too much caffeine? I haven’t had this in a while, a long while, but I’m having it now and I really, really hate it.

After four requests in three weeks I have at last gotten a response from the division of the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration who sent me a letter telling me they’d been informed by the state of Maryland (aren’t they the state of Maryland?) I owed taxes and so my license and registration would NOT be renewed unless I took care of this.

So, I wrote. And wrote. And wrote. And wrote. Asking the amount and from when? Finally, today, I received a response from a Revenue Collection Specialist asking me for the last four digits of my social security number that they might help me.

And so I am now in panic mode. Which I need to hide, as I have my Mom today.

I am such a fail with money. I just finished reading a book about a guy who lived alone in the woods for 27 years. I definitely couldn’t do that, but I am more and more thinking that the less and less I interact with the world and its conventions, the better off I (and the world) will be.

I hate being this upset and terrified and feeling helpless — which is my m.o. in money matters. Oh Charlie, as my mother would say.

Send light and good vibes and hopes the amount is low. Really, really low.

2 thoughts on “Oh dear . . . panicking

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