Sunday Morning: Look Back Ahead, more on Reminiscence

I have been most hit-upon this week here, my November 8 entry: Now and Then: All Reminiscence, All the Time.

I would like to delude myself into believing this is due to its illuminating exegesis of my obsession with Platonic anamnesis, my search for logic, reason, Love, Light, and meaning in the recollection of my soul’s journey, the echoes of all my past lives in this life, now.

I would like to believe that, but, believing that would only prove how little I had learned from the past. Or in the Now. One doesn’t get hit-upon for one’s mind and thoughts (or, at least, this one does not). One gets hit-upon for one’s sexual attractiveness. Or, someone else’s. In this case, Colby Keller’s. I tagged the post “Colby Keller Naked Penis Sex With” and WHAM BAM THANK YOU FLIM-FLAM MAN, they hit on me.

I use the following hard evidence to support the “penis = hit” theory: my all-time biggest hit entry is from April 2, 2013, [click HERE] and while it is titled Words to the Wise, it consists entirely of an engorged penis wrapped in a pair of Calvin Klein briefs and the following words:

I knew a man once who was obsessed with the size of his genitalia. Here’s what I have learned from having known him:

It is a genetic accident how big your dick is; it is a personal choice how big a dick you are.

I wonder if he’s learned this yet?

That’s it and it is STILL getting hits, all the time. My other top 5 are similarly themed, often about the sexuality or nudity of a Jonas Brother, or, Russell Tovey naked (which I totally get — well, I don’t get but I understand) and it’s all good. But . . .

. . . here’s that looking back and looking for meaning thing again; I had imagined my blog being followed (or, at least, visited now and again) because I illuminate the journey. I’m not delusional (much) nor interested in self-help-y guru status with platitudes and pithy sayings meant to be quasi-religious life-crutches. I meant, always, by sharing my process and path, to say, “Hey, you know what, it’s difficult out here and it doesn’t make you crazy or wrong or a bad person to say so, to wonder why, to keep asking questions and questioning those who insist you can be happy if you just adjust your attitude — that, in fact, everything wrong is NOT because you are flawed, a sinner, a psycho. It’s okay to feel what you feel.”

I had hoped that. But, what I FEEL is that my popularity (such as it is) has to do mostly with people searching for dick pics and proof that Joe or Nick Jonas are gay, or, that I am having sex with Russell Tovey. And, in my head, I am. Just last night we had a thee-way with Colby Keller.

I’d tag this post with that tid-bit and get hits galore. But, instead, I’m going to read the Sunday New York Times and get ready for a birthday party for which I’ve been cooking all weekend.

Light and Love, friends. Hope you find the things you’re searching for. Turns out, the tags and labels don’t always tell the whole (or, even partial) story.

 

 

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