I’m about to join in the culture of self-diagnosing-everyone-needs-a-label-psycho-babble; I have an addictive personality.
No surprise there. A quick perusal of past posts (or scroll through my gene pool) could have told you that.
Some addictions are more harmful than others. For example, I have quit smoking twice; once for more than a decade, this time it’s been a little over a year. I have pulled back on alcohol intake a number of times in my life; my tolerance is gargantuan and increases exponentially for every day I drink – I am never hung over and I rarely slur, but, rather, become increasingly vituperative in a denigrating and eviscerating attack-mode manner, all the while not noticing that my frontal cortex has disconnected until I’ve the self-control level of a horny, daredevil teen, not a good combination. I would eat bags of barbecue chips, toppings-covered pizzas, and troughs of spaghetti if I did not fight every day to resist. I would never rise from reclining reading position if my continuing inability to just say no to chips/pizza/spaghetti and wine did not require me to spend time at the gym every day.
Which has become, I suppose, one of the less harmful addictions?
The gym: meant to assuage the guilt and fight the effects of my other addictions has now become its own addiction. If I don’t go every day and do at least an hour of cardio, I am haunted by the irrational, illogical certainty that I will wake the next day an obese alcoholic mess.
And then there are books. I cannot stop accumulating them. I read a lot, but, even if I quadrupled or quintupled my reading I could not possibly keep up with my buying. I now have enough to-be-read books to statistically last until I die without my ever having to buy another. And yet, today I am picking up a few more from my favorite local independent bookseller, The Curious Iguana in downtown Frederick, Maryland (CLICK HERE).
And then there is Twitter and all the websites I daily peruse. Again and again. Which is the point of this post. Or, was meant to be
I am lost in the grid again. I’m spending WAAAAYYYYYY too much time checking my Twitter feed and conversing in un-real life with the people to whom I’ve connected in virtual-fantasy-world. I’m not writing or reading enough because I am always on my phone or computer, checking out literary sites, blogs, on and on and on … so, I am going off grid for a while.
I suspect this will last about a day. Then again, when I decided to temporarily sign off Facebook a few years ago — I never went back. And you know what, I’ve been a lot happier since. So, who knows? Now that I have admitted I have a problem (well, I have LOTS of problems – so, now that I have admitted being on-line too much is a problem) I will have to take appropriate action.
I gave up Patron Silver a year ago, who knows … could social media be next?
P.S. Here’s one thing I am almost certain I will NEVER give up … babbling away on this blog. I meant this to be a short little “here’s where I am” entry and it’s over 500 words. I have never been able to fit anything I wanted to say on a PostIt Note or Index Card — just can’t be concise.