When posts like last night’s “FUCK YOU” go up, there are sometimes concerned missives inquiring as to what has happened, am I okay, who did what.
The answers are always; Nothing of real import; yes, I’m fine; and no one who matters did much of anything.
Last night was about a posting I read to which I will not give any more publicity or energy except to say it was about a hater and denier of the humanity of others. And, as is so often the case, it was hate speech being promulgated and preached by someone who claimed to be godly and pious and all that bullshit rot citing the usual ridiculous sources as foundation for their hate.
So, since I was hanging with the very VERY vocal Sebastian last night (he always shows up after a couple of glasses of wine) and he was egging me on, I started in with the GIFs to announce my moral outrage.
BUT KIDS – in real life, every day life, with the real, actual people I see and with whom I interact (or, don’t interact, even) I no longer have those sorts of rages nor hold those sorts of grudges. I have worked very hard NOT to have judgment, or, to check my privilege and arrogance when I DO begin to judge so that I might remember to recognize it as MY problem, mine alone.
When I begin to feel anger at someone, or feel victimized, abandoned, betrayed, etcetera; I take some deep breaths and tell Sebastian to go away. I remind myself of the people in my life who have dealt anger at me, who have accused me of betrayal and victimizing and abandonment and etcetera and I remember to remember that almost always people are doing the best they can with what they have.
We are each, I think, our own angel, the ones we imagine are just our ways of reminding ourselves to use our wings of Love and Light. But, here’s the thing; sometimes it is dark and that’s okay too.