And, as usual . . . BIG PENIS (again)

Mitia Paris

I’m pandering again. Click on pic to head to his Tumblr

Well, yesterday’s main post was a rambling excursion through the consciousness of this wondering Zeitgeist wanderer who was worrying about the who what why and how of his blogsite hits.

And, as usual . . .

I got FEWER hits yesterday than I’ve had in over a month. Go figure. I guess fourteen links, navel gazing, and the process of becoming my authentic-blogger-self are not the way to achieve my fame-whore goals. I should have known that taking the advice of my friends and directly appealing to people, asking to be noticed, shared, published, seen, was a BAD idea.

And, as usual . . .

I did it anyway and, like I said, got fewer hits than I have in a month and no replies or re-Tweets.

My entire life I have resisted approaching people, been terrified of asking for what I wanted or needed. Why? Because it so often has resulted in rejection. Like yesterday. I ask. I get abysmal hit and view numbers. And no re-Tweets or new followers.

And, as usual . . .  not the first time.

Pandering SOME MORE. CLick on pic to head to the Tumblr where I found it

Pandering SOME MORE. CLick on pic to head to the Tumblr where I found it

This is NOT UNLIKE times in my life when things were in an uproar, when the center was not holding, and I appealed to or thought I could rely upon those whose centers I had long helped hold. And they turned away.

And, as usual . . . somehow, I end up feeling guilty that they have turned away from me or lied to or about me or hurt me. Because I am responsible for my own reality and so . . . as usual . . .

I will do what I always do.

As usual, I will over-react for a few days. Write less. Be pissed and hurt. Withdraw further. And pander – again – using what I know works but which is in no way authentic to me – much like the times I produced musicals like Grease and Big and Bye, Bye Birdie – none of which had anything to say that I wanted to say, and all of which nearly sold out.

Thus, pretty men and tags that get searched,  all of which are one or another variation on large and engorged penis. What a world.

Click on PIc to go to Queerty for more vintage underwear guys

Click on PIc to go to Queerty for more vintage underwear guys

Click on pic to go to WickedGayBlog "best of" Cock-In-A-Sock campaign

Click on pic to go to WickedGayBlog “best of” Cock-In-A-Sock campaign

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