Feb 25 2It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to sustain my sense of worth and self while living the particular kind of lonely in which I’ve been living for the last twenty-five years; increasingly difficult to see others achieve publication and agenting and financial success while experiencing the kind of struggles with which I have long been struggling; increasingly difficult to have boosted and bolstered and hoisted and hefted and held-strong for many others, and still hear so often, “Charlie, could you . . . ” and so rarely, “Charlie, what if I . . . ”

I’m tired. Really tired. Heading to the gym. Going to try to run it off.