Oh dear, it’s SUPER-READ weekend … so why did I get a FOOTBALL and not Timothy Schaffert’s “The Swan Gondola”?

So. Friday. I don’t know how this happened but I actually have weekend plans. What? Me? I know. Last weekend I did what I do best; hardly left the house. Hell, I hardly left my COUCH except to get more fluids and void those fluids. My SOLE activity other than absolutely necessary bodily functions was READING.

On the advice of a dear friend who wants me to be more engaged in the world – or, rather, wants the world to be more engaged with me – I have started “reviewing” the books I read. Here’s the thing, much like it was when I was reviewing theatre, I have such intense respect for artists who devote themselves to sharing Light and Truth, that even when I dislike something, there is NO WAY I am going to attack or belittle that which is made from someone’s soul, sweat and heart. Unless they REALLY piss me off with lazy, stupid, intentionally ignorant bullshit.

Schaffert, Swan GondolaSo, I try to read only those things I have a good idea I am going to like. And so I am eagerly anticipating the release date of Timothy Schaffert’s The Swan Gondola. I loved his Coffins of Little Hope. LOVED. Even though I was very, very, very, very poor at the time, I bought it – NOT ONLY FOR ME – and then leant my copy around, but I also bought it as a gift for TWO OTHER PEOPLE. So, there. Thus, imagine my CHAGRIN when I start seeing in  my Twitter feed all these pre-release reviews by so-called “book bloggers” for The Swan Gondola.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK (as my young friends say)?!?! I, myself, find waiting for me when I get home a “promotional football” (READ HERE ABOUT THAT) for some reason and from somewhere STILL a mystery – and other people are receiving advance reading copies of GOOD BOOKS by WRITERS I ADMIRE?!?!?!

Stop it, Universe.  Bad enough I can’t get my own Literary Agent and have to work SO HARD to remain this perky, positive, forward thinking fellow who hides in his basement slaving away at other people’s blogs and ad copy; and worse, that other “book bloggers” are getting free books; but the FINAL STRAW IS THIS DAMN FOOTBALL.

Jeesh. There better be a good looking really affectionate young guy coming my way SOON.

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