So, there’s a musical about Grindr? I found this while cruising Queerty (CLICK HERE) this morning. And, yes, that’s Anthony Rapp from Rent.
Fascinating. I’ve never been on Grindr – hard to believe, I know as I am all sex-hook-up-positive and such, but, I am not now and never have been the kind of attractive that works on a see-my-pic/want-my-dick kind of site. In addition to which, a large portion of the gay community cohort – which ought really to know better – is horrifyingly ageist. The whole Tom Daley dating Dustin Lance Black thing really spotlit that. I found this opinion piece in the Washington Blade (CLICK HERE) about it:
Look, in the musicals quotation vein: We’ve all got our junk. And by JUNK, I mean not JUST our genitals – but all the garbage we attach to using them.
There are different kinds of “the click” and it has been my experience that the very narrow definitions and parameters of what constitute “acceptable and approved relationships” are – quite often – inadequate to actual life. As a patriarchal culture that has historically required a large population of underlings to serve the few “masters” – the approved model is a masculine dominated partnership in which sex is used as a bargaining chip, a source of power and control. In actual fact, many primary relationships – by which I mean intense connections of like spirits – are not sexual; and by the same token, many sexual exchanges are not primary relationships, or, are not designed to be more important than the sort of casual friendships of surface connect. Sex has become ridiculously fraught with cultural-religious-socio-economic-faux-morality baggage and – all too often – it becomes our JUNK (so to speak) when it should be just fucking fun. Or, fun fucking. Whatever, like I said – like Spring Awakening said:
I’ve worked really hard to live and see outside the patriarchal-heterosexist-capitalist parameters constructed to define and confine us. It is – not gonna lie – very lonely out here. And dangerous; you can think you’ve “connected” with a like-spirit – on some or another level – and, sometimes, you do – BUT, all too often, after the fact, that other person will find it far easier to fall back into the culturally-approved limitations; few people have the courage to live outside the boundaries and the box – and BEWARE, if you take somewhere there (here) – when they revert to cultural-trope-type, they will ALMOST ALWAYS find it necessary – no matter how much they loved you or said they loved you – to DEMONIZE you. And “demonizing” you is pretty easy when you live on the outside as an “other” and refuse to toe the patriarchal line.
This is getting RIDICULOUSLY heavy, when I meant to be funny and light and flit around today. I should probably head for the gym (LOL – after all that talk of being “other” – I, Hypocrite, cannot accept the body and age I have/am, and FIGHT IT OFF with hours working out – pretty much to no avail) and see if there’s anything fun going on in the showers or sauna (and again – doubt I’ll be lusting after anyone “outside” the parameters of conventionally defined good looks).
Speaking of gyms and half-naked men and idealized versions of junk exciters – did you not get that from the above? LOL – Russell Tovey, my idealized fantasy boyfriend (one of them) or junk-up – posted a GIF of himself that I sort of loved –
I want him. Badly. I am not alone – although I STILL think I called him first in this country – it was YEARS ago when he was in The History Boys on Broadway. I called him and Dominic Cooper. So there. Last week (?) Towelroad did a whole pictorial on Russell in his new London play, Pass.
FYI- I’ve never been to London, so if anyone wants to send me over there so I can write a more in-depth, up close and personal piece about Russell’s pieces – I’d be happy to do it. Or them. Or him. I think I have a passport. Click here for the link to the whole pictorial.
Quite moving, and terrifying. Having lived through and come out during the 70’s/80’s in some of the same milieu, it is both melancholic and infuriating – once more. Everyone should read it in light of the recent attempts to roll back rights and what is going on in Sochi and – more importantly, everyone YOUNG should read it – to get some understanding of what it was like to live “out” in those decades – and have to fight almost every day for the right to even be who you were, speak your truth, hell, hang a photo of your significant other in your office.
And, too, how excited am I that Armistead Maupin has delivered another chapter in the Tales of the City saga? It’s called The Days of Anna Madrigal , and I cannot wait to get my hands on it. Lambda Literary has an interview with the literary icon HERE – click to read.
And, equally exciting for me, Michael Cunningham – another of my literary icons – is releasing his next book, The Snow Queen (Click here for details and his website), in May. I devour each of his releases and then return to them, again and again, as I work on my own projects, to study and admire. His work is eminently readable but also – for a writer – taking it apart, looking at his technical acumen and learning from him – such a gift.