Morning Zeitbites … killing your uncle . . . and getting off . . .Friday, December 13, 2013 … wait, Friday the 13th???

Just those links that made me laugh or loiter or lament why I continue to live as I troll from the exile of my own personal Elba with my morning coffee.

Friday the 13th. Really? Not caring. I’m not superstitious and when it comes to bad luck and mishaps, I hardly need a special day. Seems as if the fates – whatever the hell they are – have had it in for me for quite some time now. SO, bring it on.

SOMEBODY PUT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH, PLEASE?

Tom Daley and Lance Black; exclusive to Just Jared, Cosmo/Fame Flynet Pictures

Tom Daley and Lance Black; exclusive to Just Jared, Cosmo/Fame Flynet Pictures

Ages ago I wrote a blog post called “I WANT A CUTE RELATIONSHIP” (CLICK HERE) and I still do. Really. But in lieu of me getting one of my own, I revel in the cute relationships of others. I am particularly obsessing over Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black (and NOT JUST because of the age difference – about which you should read Michelangelo Signorile HERE you big fucking ageist bigot ass) and Just Jared (CLICK HERE) has exclusive first photos of them together since Mr. Daley announced he was in love with a man (WATCH THAT YOUTUBE VID HERE) – I love the way the world is changing and holy fuckballz I would just about kill for someone to give me a sip of their drink like this BEFORE IT ENDS UP BEING THE AIDE IN THE INSTITUTION WHERE I END UP ANY DAY . . . get me a cute lover NOW.

OR PUT A KNIFE IN MY HAND AS OPPOSED TO MY BACK . . . CUZ I WANNA GET IN ON ALL THIS GETTING OFF . . .

Seems that murdering people is getting a lot less dangerous than it used to be, and not just in Florida. I mean, there was Trayvon Martin’s murderer being released so he would be free to abuse and batter his estranged wife and new girlfriend until one of them irritates him enough that he shoots them and gets off again – so to speak. And then Jordan Linn Graham shoves her husband off a cliff ON THEIR HONEYMOON and pleads down to second degree (READ HERE ON BUZZFEED) which I TOTALLY blame on her parents spelling Lynn as Linn – I mean, what the fuck is with that spelling? And speaking of blame, now we have the “AFFLUENZA” defense? A drunk-ass punk-ass rich Texas kid mows down four people with his pick-up truck and gets $450,000 a year rehab and probation (READ HERE IN DAILY MAIL UK) while the same judge who agreed to this deal sent a14 year old BLACK child to prison for ten years for one death (READ HERE) – so, uhm . . . I’ve been stabbed in the back by any number of people and should have stood my ground; how about I get drunk and stab back some backs by which I’ve been stabbed . . . if I can’t “get off” one way, maybe I can “get off” another?

AND SPEAKING OF GETTING OFF … GET OFF THE SCREEN YOU TWAT … MEGYN KELLY …

What the actual fuck? She actually says with her straight, Fox-lies-news face that Jesus was a white, historical figure and that is a verifiable fact? ARE YOU ON CRACK? There is SO MUCH wrong with and about this that I can’t even BEGIN to . . . holy shit . . .  QUICK, SOMEONE PUT SOMETHING IN HER MOUTH OR BACK . . . these FoxNews people are demons . . . speaking of . . .

TEEN WOLF IS COMING (BACK) . . .

I am unable to control my lust for Dylan O’Brien who plays Stiles on MTV’s TEEN WOLF. And he is front and center in the Season 3, Part 2 teaser trailer. Here:

I am only disappointed that he is kissing a girl. I was SO HOPING the producers would go with all the fan-fiction hook-ups of Stiles and Derek – or as we they call them “STEREK”. . . some Wolf on Boy action.

Sterek Ship STEREK KISS Sterek Ship Gif

Anyway, see, were I a famous author (HEY LITERARY AGENT I AM STILL AWAITING A REPLY – pretty please) then I could “meet cute” Dylan O’Brien and he could fall in “love at first sight” with me and do a nice YouTube coming out like Tom Daley did and – IT COULD HAPPEN – Tom is 20 years younger than Dustin, and Dylan is 20 years younger than my stated CraigsList age – so there. Where was I? Oh, right, alas, Stiles and Derek seem not to be hooking up in Season 3 … nevertheless, I will be TV-glued January 6 and binge-watching the past seasons prior. Past seasons prior? What the fuck sort of syntax is THAT?

And finally, in the Friday the 13th bad luck sort of fates have it in for you sort of department . . .

AVUNCULICIDE … JANG SONG THAEK, I FEEL YOUR PAIN …

When I heard that Kim Jong Un had ousted his uncle, it was worrisome enough. Now, it seems, he’s executed him for treason (READ HERE IN HUFFINGTON POST). I worry. AVUNCULICIDE – the killing of one’s uncle – (not to mention Fratricide – the killing of one’s brother, and the lesser known OEDIPIAPLATOCIDE – the killing of one’s older male lover who one used to get over one’s father issues) going mainstream? Now, granted, Uncles (and brothers and older male lovers) being thrown under the bus and slanderously accused of crimes and misdemeanors and sins against the family (and whomever else) – not exactly a foreign concept to me. I hope when the time comes it’s a firing squad … which, actually, would be better than the slow freeze-out of love being used to kill me thus far . . . and the way people are getting off for killing folks lately . . . I’m sleeping with one eye open . . .

Ryan McGinley : Oliver 2/ 2012

Ryan McGinley : Oliver 2/ 2012

Or – not sleeping with both eyes open and searching for my gratuitous half-naked man photo of the day . . . and here it is . . .by Ryan McGinley, who has ALL THE BEST NAKED PEOPLE (go to his site HERE – lots of pretty naked women and men). This one is Oliver 2/2012. Loves it. Happy Friday the 13th my friends. And enemies.

And if you can’t have a happy Friday (and lord knows I probably won’t) at least enjoy the brisk weather and winter wonderland … like these fellows are … now, finally, a kind of snowman I’d be interested in playing with.

winter wonderland

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