… just a few minutes … please … someone to fall back on …

It would be SO nice to be carried for a while, just, even, a few minutes, instead of being the one doing the lifting and propping up. I could really, REALLY use a real embrace. I know. Whiner. Even, I think, if I could just find someone who gets that “I am no prince, I am no saint” but who still feels with their heart that the little bit of Light & Love I am is what they want and need. “And I’ll be that, I’ll take your side; If I’m the only one – I’m used to that. I’ve been alone. I’d rather be the half of us; the least of you; the best of me. And I’ll be your prince; I’ll be your saint; I will go crashing through fences in your name. I will. I swear. I’ll be someone to fall back on. I’ll be the one who waits and for as long as you let me, I will be the one you need. I’ll be someone to fall back on. Your prince. Your saint. The one you believe you need. I’ll be … I’ll be … someone to fall back on.” Please. Please. Please.

momma and charlie cropped Mommy & Charlie 1 001

I’m just kind of exhausted. As in, decades worth.

C PURPLE4C PURPLE3C PURPLE2C PURPLE1

Every time someone asks me for a picture … I don’t know what to send … who am I?

April 2013 5sa david horchbaby foot charlie_edited-1 (2)C BLOG 6sissie 2no smoking2Charlie attitudesue and charliecharlie at 3ny chris kyle

I have no fucking idea anymore.

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And, can a picture capture anything? I mean, what are they looking for? Who are they looking for?

brideshead love scenecheyenne jacksonlange paulsonlibertytown coverPatti-LuPone-2Greeks & Greek Love

Because no one EVER really knows you – the connections and synaptic leaps that make you –

allenAlison and CharlieApril 2013 4charlie upside downcl shot 8ny st patrick's masscharlie algonquincollage

charlie smith not famous and google never heard of him not living in new york not published and no guggenheims

charlie smith not famous and google never heard of him not living in new york not published and no guggenheims

may 20 ghostcharlie and luckyAlison and Charlie 2jesus

Late teens...vowed to be like no one else but me. Yeah, right.

Late teens…vowed to be like no one else but me. Yeah, right.

April 2013happy charlieCWS and CSWCHARLIE COLLAGEbaby foot charlieA SINGLE MAN GIF

You don’t know me. You’ll never know me. And if you did …

Look … just, please, hold me up. A little while. I just want my back rubbed and to be carried ONCE. I want someone else to do the cleaning and the cooking and the bending.

ONCE. I am exhausted. And I have won nothing. There are no prizes. Okay, Great, Just, HOLD ME UP FOR A WHILE. Pretend you love me. One. Fucking. Day. As is often the case, Jason Robert Brown says it ..

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