SOMEBODY GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE …
“Hey I’m 21 white 5.9 145 average slim build 7cut no pix but good looking brown hair blue eyes… live in spring ridge. What do u look like? How old any pix?”
I answer that I am not Brad Pitt but not repugnant. I do not offer my genital dimensions. I do not send pictures.
“Do u wanna hook up somewhere private or something? I have roommate so somewhere safe like the Weis in spring Ridge is open 24 hrs a day and dead at night so bathroom there maybe??”
I don’t answer at all. I am, instead, reading a book and wondering JUST HOW this got to be my life. A bathroom? In a grocery store? What the actual fuck?
I cry. I listen to a song. Swing down chariot and get me the fuck out of here . . . Chaka makes EVERYTHING better. I sang this like a madman in my youth in my room … I didn’t just do musical theatre.