Late last night, after a wine-soaked evening in the same room with a friend who I see infrequently (and more about this later) I ended up trolling on line and discovered that one of my all-time favorite television shows, “China Beach”, has made it to DVD. I wrote a blog entry about it, my second of the evening ((it’s right here- CLICK and be stalked)).
Fast forward. Morning. I get my coffee and settle in at my keyboard to check the eclectic collection of sites I have chosen to keep me marginally tethered to the world outside my basement writing batcave – a carefully curated concatenation of literary and publishing informational sites, world and political news with an extreme blue/left liberal and socialist bias, gossip, GLBT and Broadway streams, and the blogs and magazine columns of a few people I know and sort of know.
Imagine my HORROR when I got to Towelroad – still in my “you’re being a potty mouth Uncle Charlie, you haven’t had enough coffee” mode (that’s what my darling and hilarious nephew, C, says to me when it’s early in the day and someone has the misfortune to be forced into my presence prior to my being fully re-caffeine-ated) – and the site is CRAWLING with ads for the “China Beach” DVD,
Wow to WTF?
Now, I suppose I SHOULD know, but I don’t, how this happens. I assume that Google knows I went last night to both Amazon.com where “China Beach” costs something like $399 and read the comments of people who were furious that the same thing was available at the Time-Life site for considerably less where I next went and linked in my blog. I suppose Google knows everywhere I go. Which leaves me wondering, if you know all this Google, and too, I’m guessing, all my various names here and there and everywhere, then there are LOTS of things you ought to be trying to market to me, including but not limited to twenty-something young men of a particular look and weight with specific attributes ((CLICK HERE GOOGLE FOR THE PIC AND POST THAT STILL GETS ME MORE HITS THAN ANY OTHER- the “it’s a genetic accident how big your dick is; it’s a personal choice how big a dick you are – APPARENTLY the words “BIG DICK” get a KAJILLIO-BILLIO-hits)) I find appealing and easy to deal with and who are interested in no-strings-attached evenings of – but, I digress.
Here’s the thing: putting Google together with the fellow (I am assuming it was a fellow, but, I can’t be sure of the gender) who attacked me anonymously the other day, equals stalking. I am being stalked. And threatened. I find targeted ads threatening. I find ads on Twitter threatening. I find going to websites like Slate and being assaulted by ads every time I try to read an article threatening. I report ads on Twitter as spam and block the sender. I stopped visiting Slate because I found the marketing strategy so fucking intrusive. I find the aggressive culling and collecting of my interests crazily, aggressively, ridiculously – funny.
Yeah. It’s funny. Look, I’m not one who gives a fuck if the NSA keeps records about me. I’m not that interesting. And, anyway, I spent years TRYING to get people to WANT to follow me – in shows, in writing, on social media. Most of the country does. Shit people, you post every time you – well – shit or go to dinner or have some fleeting emotional thought or get a car or have a relationship or whatever – and you WANT PEOPLE TO FOLLOW YOU.
They are. But, here’s the thing, the NSA is part of the government which means, well. right now they’re shut down and the way things are going, will be for quite a while, and EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT, you are not important enough for them to worry about. Not really. And, history also tells us they are often incompetent at this sort of thing anyway. Hell, they can’t keep the roads fixed and the trains running or get guns or crazies tracked, you think they’re going to be able to worry about what websites you visit?
GOOGLE on the other hand … when they take over, we are all fucked. And not – alas – in the good way. Because if Google could get me hooked up with that elusive … never mind – gotta go visit my daily sites so Google can work on profiling me better; because if Google-daddy thinks I can afford that “China Beach” set, they have some tweaking to do.
(P.S. I just went to dictionary.com to check on usage of a word herein and THERE TOO was assaulted by the “China Beach” ad! Holy fuckballs. I am flummoxed by this and wonder why I am not seeing ads from … never mind. I’m not going to aid and abet Google-God anymore than I already do. Wait. GOD DOES EXIST – it’s Google! Finally someone to whom I can pray.)