… drunk again … don’t go searching very hard for your other half in me …

I am, I admit, quite drunk. I had a bottle of wine. With a friend. He had his own bottle of wine. I first met him when I was supposedly a grown-up and he was a tiny child, sitting alone in the wooden seats in the first of the little theatres in which I changed people’s lives.

He is now able to buy his own wine. He has never broken his promises. I tell him everything. And still, he loves me. Every time we are together, like magic (maybe black magic) he gets texts from people who have cursed me.

I spent two hours today with someone. Else. Who will never be mine. I do not believe in mine. Ever again. Never again. I will not. Oh fuck. I am so tired and so imaginary. Phoebe Snow died. I am still alive. Nothing makes sense. I am no one’s other half. I never will be. I keep hearing Phoebe Snow. This song. Oh you pirate, you. I miss you. I am going to bed.

And, the lyrics:

When once we lived the juicy life
the summer baked
the autumn fades
you pirate you
to steal away with me

I remember well
you’re drunk again
sweet heart you’ll say
careful there, wipe off your sleeve
don’t go searching very hard
for your other half in me

I recall your first kisses
hiding in the closet from your mrs.

the stern old sage and sensible
is what you see by day
the darkness made you cautious too
but I stopped by anyway

now you’re getting hazy
falling far into a film
I guess I’d better move along
leave you to your private realm
I recall your first kisses
predawn imagination
is all that this is

 

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