… the fall … and hibernation …

Leaf Fall 2013

This is my leaf; my good friend leaf; my stop and share the beauty leaf.

I have had a quiet day. I never left the house.

I slept in, quite late for me, I have been feeling somewhat fatigued. I rose and had some coffee. Stripped my bed clothes. Started laundry and cleaning.

I cleaned the first floor today: kitchen, living room, den and powder room. Except for bleach used for the toilet, every product I used was natural, chemical free, mostly vinegar and baking soda, and I have to say that after the few hours it took me to do all of this, everything was shining and smelled like I remember my Aunt’s house in Libertytown smelling when I was a child, after she had done her cleaning. Even better, I spent those hours listening to fascinating and amusing programs on NPR. I had a wonderful time. I actually quite enjoy cleaning.

By the time I had finished, it was 1pm. I had some fruit. I re-made my bed with freshly laundered sheets, and I settled in for a long afternoon of reading. I showered around five or six p.m. and took another break from 8 to 10ish to watch episodes of “Torchwood” both on OnDemand and on BBC America. Then, back to reading.

I have spoken to two of the people with whom I live, briefly. I’ve Tweeted two friends and texted another. I have received no communication from anyone or anywhere else. I have reveled in the quiet of it, the domesticity of it, the peaceful reading of it.

There were a few intrusions of a disturbing nature when I checked Twitter and some other cultural zeitgeist reports and I – at first – intended that this blog would be about those somewhat appalling things, but then I recalled the Tweet I had sent out today:

It’s ok to sad-Tweet sad-post – but for every SAD/FEAR, you have to consciously BALANCE by sending out 2 JOY/LOVE ones

I like it. It’s part of my new series of my own particular self-help path – which I am working on with a dear friend – and it’s about ReWriting Your Life – as in, this is my storyline, I am going to be in charge of the narrative. BUT – my self-help is not a guilt-inducing “you should have a better plotline” one. Rather, mine acknowledges that you might feel like shit and it’s okay – let it be, it is what it is, everything is a full circle of Love and Fear, Light and Dark, they all exist in our perception because of the other and they are all just words for the ALL THAT IS-ness of ALL-ness; any division is arbitrary and an illusion and – well, let’s not go any further right now except to say –

I decided I would let the SAD/FEAR stuff percolate on its own today and instead share my JOY/LOVE stuff – which was my cleaning and my reading and my leaf – which I inserted at the top of this column.

My ReWrite Your Life friend, we meet once a week. We talk. We share. We write. We brainstorm. We share friendship. We make this time together because we love one another, we value one another, we value the insights the other has into our life, we have a soul bond, a connection, and we cherish one another. So, we make time in REAL LIFE, we make space for one another, we schedule friend time. It’s wonderful. This week we were walking down the street, deeply engrossed in conversation about current events and there, on the sidewalk the beautiful leaf. Its reds were so vibrant they practically shouted at me, and I stopped and bent and gathered it up, and we stopped and marvelled at its beauty – because, in making the commitment to make time for each other, we have also come to slow down the rest of our lives so that we can pause long enough to recognize the treasures and beauties surrounding us every day, everywhere, if only we stop and take a breath and SENSE them, really feel them, and thus, ReWrite Our Lives to include these happy JoyLoveLight moments.

So, happy Saturday night my friends – those of you I know, those of you I don’t, even those of you who read this because you don’t much like me and enjoy when I am having a lugubrious moment – I’ll have more, it’s part of who I am and the way I see things – and for every one I have, I will TRY to remember to notice two of JoyLoveLight to balance.

I wish you peace. And I wish me forgiveness – of myself, because I’m the only one against whom I am still holding a grudge – which is a wonderful thing to notice, and know, and have grown into.

And one more JoyLoveLight moment to come: I have clean sheets on which to sleep tonight. Sweet. Peace my loves, much peace.

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