… catfish are everywhere …

So, confession: sometimes I troll the back alleyways of social media. I’ve got a couple of different names. And one of those names is a member of a site that required a photo. I don’t do photos. It’s not that I ever plan to run for office or anything and so am avoiding a Weiner-debacle; that’s not the kind of weiner-debacle I wish to avoid. If I looked like a porn star – or, even – if I thought I was reasonably attractive when unclothed, I would MAYBE take a pic and send it/use it.

fake me

Fake me.

So … imagine my surprise when I was “approached” in one of these social media back alleys by someone claiming to be an 18-year-old, looking to find someone older to “break me in” who included a picture of himself.

And it was someone I know.

Only, it wasn’t. I mean – the picture was (I think – I had seen it before floating around on Tumblr when i still did Tumblr and was shocked then) but the person sending the picture WAS NOT, because that someone I know is NOT 18 (they’re older than 18) and would NEVER send his picture to a man asking to be broken in.

A couple of things; I don’t answer requests like that; even if I did, it wouldn’t be someone claiming to be an 18 year old; and finally, someone who sends a picture of their face and their junk before they know anything about you is either someone “made up” – i.e. CATFISH – or someone crazy, the kind of person whose indiscretion would EVENTUALLY get you in trouble.

Pretend person who approached one of my fake persona

Pretend person who approached one of my fake persona

My motto about back-alley social media trolling is, “Sure, it’s all fun and games until somebody gets arrested.” So, I am EXTRAORDINARILY cautious about to whom my imaginary personas speak – but, this – WHOEVER they were – was using SOMEONE I KNEW and pretending to be them.

So, I wrote to him (her? them?) and said; “That picture is not you – I know this because it’s someone I know – so maybe you should take it down because he’s going to be pretty pissed about this.”

Now, the truth is, I’m not in contact with the person, and, maybe, perhaps, it’s not him – but it sure LOOKS like him – a lot – but, in any event – there is no danger of him finding out about it from me – but – then – I started thinking – well wait – if someone, somehow had a naked picture of me and started distributing it – or pretending to be me (WHO THE HELL WOULD PRETEND TO BE ME – HAHAHAHA) then wouldn’t I want someone to tell me?

I don’t know. This fake persona thing is so tricky; see, here’s the thing; a few weeks ago I was approached by someone and I shared my fake name, fake details about age and such, and my fake torso pic – and I was rejected. And I was pissed. And hurt. Uhm … pissed and hurt and IT WASN’T EVEN THE REAL ME, IT WAS THE FAKE ME.

So, who am I to tell somebody about themselves? Exactly.

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