The older I get, the more I appreciate the good old days, particularly Bette and her Sophie Tucker jokes. Watch this.
I saw Ms. Midler live twice. Best concerts EVER. She never let down. Not for one moment. I laughed. I cried. I marvelled. She was a great influence on me.
Neither of these has my favorite of her Sophie jokes in which her boyfriend Ernie is proud to tell Sophie on the occasion of his 80th birthday that he is marrying a twenty year old girl. Upon receipt of such braggadocio, Sophie replies; “Well Ernie, on the occasion of my 80th birthday I shall marry a 20-year-old man, and let me tell you something, Ernie: 20 goes into 80 aHELLUVA lot more than 80 goes into 20.”
May I just say that my recent experience – though I am not yet 80 – proves this joke to be EVEN funnier than I thought it was at 20 and 30. Now, I am rolling on the floor – laughing – and doing the math. Just how many times does 25 go into 43? (Yes, dammit, FORTY-fucking-THREE) and what is left when you subtract 35 from 43? I was never very good with numbers, I confess.
… that’s what keeps ’em coming back for more …. I’m here all week …