… zeit-bites Friday … I read & link so you don’t have to …

One of the purposes of this blog – when I began it – was for me to act as a curator of the endless tsunami of pop-culture & media effluvia by which my friends (of which I now have, I think, two?) and readers (I refuse to divulge numbers – if I did, I’d just lie and make it bigger than it really is and don’t we get enough of that ELSEWHERE without doing it here?) are assaulted. Somewhere along the line, I went off-course, off-point – which happens, right? I mean, when I was born it was predicted by crazy Irish-accented, bossy Catholic terrorist woman down the street that I would be the first American Pope. Not quite.

Well – we see how that worked out? The only things I managed to master of Catholicism were suffering guilt and kneeling; but dammit, I’m going to keep this blog going. And so, here we are: Zeit-bites for Friday. Have fun. CLICK THE BOLD HEADLINES FOR THE LINKS.


DATE & TIME:  Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 7:00 PM LOCATION:  Unity Temple on The Plaza, Sanctuary, 707 W 47th Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64112 EVENT FORMAT:  Marisha Pessl will discuss her New Book and answer audience questions.  A Booksigning will follow the Presentation.  Tickets are sequentially numbered in the order they are purchased. ADMISSION PACKAGE:  $28.00 plus Kansas Sales Tax, includes One Hardcover of Night Film, One Stamped Autographing Admission Ticket and One Guest Ticket (if needed).  It's your choice, for the same Price.

DATE & TIME: Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 7:00 PM
LOCATION: Unity Temple on The Plaza, Sanctuary, 707 W 47th Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64112
EVENT FORMAT: Marisha Pessl will discuss her New Book and answer audience questions. A Booksigning will follow the Presentation. Tickets are sequentially numbered in the order they are purchased.
ADMISSION PACKAGE: $28.00 plus Kansas Sales Tax, includes One Hardcover of Night Film, One Stamped Autographing Admission Ticket and One Guest Ticket (if needed). It’s your choice, for the same Price.

My copy of Marisha Pessl’s new novel, “Night Film”, has not yet arrived. I’m no longer an Amazon Prime member – I gave it up somewhere along the time I gave up all my income and friends and most of my family – and so, now, when I pre-order books (and I only order books because I am sometimes given Amazon gift-cards) I have to wait for them to arrive via regular shipping rather than the overnight sort of privileges I once enjoyed.

Where was I and what was the point? Oh, right, well – the GAWKER column about the book has put me off – and, at the same time, excited me. I will spare you another of my digressive paragraphs here about just how many things in my life AT THE MOMENT both repulse and excite me. Here’s the thing; reading a book has always been – for me – about the words and the images I, myself, create. Now, it is clear, we are moving into an era when what we have known as “a book” is morphing into something else – and, like EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD – it is now going to require multi-platform links and meta-creata-media-format-blah-blah-blah LINKS and such. You won’t be able to just WRITE a book – you’ll need to create artwork and videos and CASTS OF PEOPLE to populate it and fill it up and out for the “readers” – who will really become “watchers” and – I suspect – in many cases, participants. I hate this. But at the same time, I love it – because I am UNIQUELY qualified to succeed in such a pursuit as I am almost good at all those things – which will make me better at them than at least nine-tenths of the people trying to do all of them. For years I wrote, cast, and did the art work for my own shit – on  a smaller scale – and I wasn’t half bad. SO, NEW THING TO DO.

And so back to things (and people) who both repulse and excite me …

MARC JACOBS … and why I hate/worship him …

I DEFY you to watch this and NOT hate Marc Jacobs. Well, not fair actually, I only got about two minutes in – by which point he had mentioned his 2 hours a day at the gym WITH HIS TRAINER and then gone on to mention his “facial person” (I will spare you – again – my filthy thoughts when he said that – you’re welcome) and his “nutritionist” and his “tattoo person” and  – I COULD NOT TAKE ANY MORE. I don’t have any persons. I want some persons dammit.(Thanks to THE BACKLOT(click here – great site), where I was assaulted by this first thing this morning.)

Did you make it through the whole thing? I thought not. Listen, Jacobs used to be near my age until I somehow got to be ten years younger, and, frankly, I am just HORRIBLY JEALOUS of his trips to Paris, his fame, his body, his tattoos, his good looks, AND HIS PERSONS – especially his former (or current?) porn-star boyfriend. Speaking of porn star boyfriends –


Luciano & Gruber ... that's love ... and shopping ... and love

Luciano & Gruber … that’s love … and shopping … and love

Michael Musto’s Gawker  interview (CLICK HERE) with John Luciano (yes, of THAT Luciano family – although this one seems a bit less lucky) about his former boyfriend (?), the former porn star, former boyfriend (?) of Calvin Klein, Mr. Nick Gruber is – WOW – just – WOW. It was brought to my attention via Towelroad (click here for that story) which has been following this whole sort of out there, what the fuck story for ages.

Listen, it does seem as if Mr. Gruber has not had the best of lives nor has he benefitted from the best mentoring or advice from those with whom he has spent time; but one does have to admire him for his pomosexuality. These categories of “straight” and “gay” are ridiculous limitations encouraged by a patriarchal hierarchical society gone mad. Sexuality is a little more fluid than people want to admit – in particular, the

Gruber in his porn days

Gruber in his porn days

ones who REALLY don’t want to admit it are the elite class of (usually white) heterosexual men whose (imaginary) power resides in their ability to fuck everyone ELSE.

Let me just tell you, it has been my experience that I have run into and come across (so to speak) COUNTLESS men who call themselves “straight” but who are looking to screw around – regularly – with other guys on the downlow – and I have ALMOST NEVER met men who identify themselves as “gay” who go trolling around for women with whom to “experiment NSA” on the downlow. So, I think that says something about our culture and how – despite strides in positive directions – we STILL value heterosexual men and their heterosexual sex WAY MORE than we do any other variety of congress.

And, honestly, LOOK AT GRUBER. I saw his porn-work. And while he’s clearly not Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts material, he was fairly convincing in communicating that he was enjoying the “gay” shit going on. Older people with money and younger people with looks have been taking advantage of one another since there were older people with money/power and younger people with looks/power – and now, in this day and age of ever increasing post-modern meta-wants and desires – when the fluidity of sexuality is AT LAST becoming what it ought to be – ATTRACTION IS ATTRACTION – the mechanics are secondary actually – well, we are bound to start seeing more of this Gruber/Klein sort of thing in public. I’ve been to bed with straight guys. I’ve been in relationships with straight guys. Obviously, the word “straight” was inadequate. WORDS ARE INADEQUATE – apparently for EVERYTHING – which is why Pessl’s new book links to videos and art – right?

We’re POMO-everything, people. And sex is – well – lookie here –


Brittany Gibbons column about herself strikes some as a ridiculous level of navel-gazing, and to them I say – “DON’T READ IT.”  But this one (CLICK HERE) about her decision to have sex every day for a year, is REALLY fascinating on any number of levels.

I am particularly struck by the issues of body image – with which I too, have struggled – and thus my daily gym trips (though I do NOT, like Mr. Jacobs, have a trainer – alas) and my efforts to be more sex positive in my life – and to freight it with less cultural weight and stigma (DAMN THAT CATHOLIC YOUTH – and early desire to be POPE) – so, yes, it’s worth a read JUST FOR THAT.

BUT WHAT I FIND EVEN MORE RIVETING – and this is often the case with on-line shit – are the COMMENTS people have made about her column. First of all, why are people SO FUCKING MEAN? There is NO reason to attack someone. NO REASON. If you hate what they say that much – why read it? And, what comes from arguing about it? What does your rude, vicious, attack judgment bring to the table? Secondly, I am flabbergasted (again) by how hung up and crazy and suppressed people are about ANYTHING sexual.

Sure, some of them are just biblical god-nuts, but others, who would consider themselves to be “open-minded” and “sex-positive” are BLIND to their own hang-ups. The ways in which they criticize and judge, all the while dancing around trying to make it seem they are NOT judging and criticizing – are CRAZY.

I mean – if consenting adults want to do whatever it is they do in whatever way they do it – how is that anyone else’s business? And how is hooking up with someone on Grindr (or Pure or Tinder or Bang With Friends or Scruff or Blendr or Singles Around Me or Skout or Craig’s List or Facebook or …) and people getting what they mutually want a moral crisis in the world? I mean, robber barons devastated the banking industry and never spent a day in jail – no moral outrage there? 99% of the wealth in this country is controlled by 1% of the people. No moral outrage there? Whatever – no need for me to get on my own ridiculous high-horse here, I’m just saying – the comments people made about the Gruber story and Brittany Gibbons column – made me sad.

Why does anyone think they ought to care with whom anyone else has sex? Or, how others choose to make those connections? And who is anyone to judge anyone else?

Which really brings me to the question – WHY DO I JUDGE AND WHAT DO I JUDGE WITHOUT REALLY RECOGNIZING THAT I AM DOING SO? Because what bothers us about others is always a reflection of something within us that bothers us: so, I must examine myself over the weekend and see where I am judging without KNOWING I’m judging – and correct or admit or – whatever –


NO, I’m totally NOT DOING THAT AT ALL – I’m going to listen to music and read books and check out – because I am part of the zeitgeist – NO – I AM THE ZEITGEIST – and so, when in Rome … you know what they say (or, what Babs said – and after all – I am one of those older gay men – although not as old as I used to be – so it’s up to me to teach all the younger ones – including the POMOs about history – and Barbra (skip that second A – yeah, that’s right) is OUR HISTORY!

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