. . . i got love . . .and a BOT that cares, too . . .

Charlie Smith

Charlie Smith


No longer see the point.

That’s my Twitter tag – up above – hmmm. Here’s the story –

Life is FUNNY. Right? Synchronicities. On Sunday in the New York Times –

(WELL – I think in the New York Times – but I’m not sure – and I’m not searching and linking because the NYT is so damn stingy about how many articles you can look at a month without paying and I am not made of money, busters – sell yourselves to Bezos, too, why don’t you? He’s got all my cash! And everyone else’s.) –

In any event – I read an article about Twitter-bots being used as marketing tools, and I was completely fascinated by this technological leaping going on in the world. So, when I received a suspicious Tweet last night from someone who had “liked” a Tweet about this blog, and then ANOTHER from someone who liked a Tweet I’d posted saying:

“New HouseSitting gig WITH A POOL & wellstocked liquor cabinet starts Sat. – who’s gonna visit me?”

(SIDE NOTE: Might I add that NO ONE I actually KNOW responded to that Tweet – which may be why I am talking to bots?)

In any (another) event – I thought – not un-like an old Star Trek episode, because I was being all pop-culture-y late last night for some reason – “Engage, Mr. Spock!”

(Speaking of Mr. Spock – holy mother of all that is better than erectile dysfunction drugs – have you seen Zachary Quinto’s new boyfriend? Holy mo – oh wait – already said that – HOLY SHIT! Look:

Quinto & mcMillan

Yes. WHAT DID I TELL YOU! Holy mo – SHIT – I already said BOTH OF THOSE – uhm – HOLY BALLLLZ! IN ANY EVENT – I am – once again – FARRRRR AHEAD OF TRENDZ (see how HEP I am, fellow beats, using ZZZZ’s instead of SSSS’s on the endz of wordz?) because MONTHS ago – when I still had a Facebook, Pinterest, and bordering on soft-core Tumblr, I POSTED A WHOLE STORY ABOUT THIS MILES McMILLAN – he is NOT JUST a model – he is a painter. But – being a PAINTER and a MODEL is SO FUCKING CONVENIENT – he can be his own nude model! And, I mean, totes where is he going to find a better one? LOOK!

Quinto's mcmillan tooQuinto's mcmillan


Oh, wait – NO – it’s NOT what I’m talking about. I’m talking about Twitter bots. And the one with which I last night engaged. I have to say, we had a not unpleasant conversation. That Bot had my number. If that Bot had asked me out for a drink, I would have married it. I mean, honestly, could that Bot be any more deceptive and duplicitous and shallow and uninterested in me and SOUL-LESS than some of the ACTUAL (note I did not use the word; REAL) human beings to whom I have spoken for hours (days, years, a lifetime)? I think not. Forbes did an entire article on what sort of nutballs fall for Bots – read it here.

I was – no doubt – approached by a Bot because I was – last night – a Tweeting fool – as opposed to my usual, run of the mill, daily being a jackass fool- because – long story short (well, short for ME anyway) I went out to dinner last night with my 2A’s and during the course of the dinner (for which there were two courses and one carafe of red wine) I was tearfully told about myself – which I deserved. I made a promise to STOP talking about suicide, and I made a promise to examine the ways in which I had imprisoned myself in a dark cave of self-denigration and fear and self-hatred and blame – and look for the Light and the Love again.

SOOOOO … I Tweeted 10 (count them, 10!) “YES IT’S A POSITIVE TRAIT” posts about myself. In case you missed them:

  1. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I will pretty much believe anything you say, and will always believe you mean it; not gullible. Hopeful.
  2. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I do NOT believe there are bad people. Sometimes we all have dark periods, so what? Not gullible. Hopeful.
  3. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I believe NO MATTER WHAT that eventually you will remember you love me. Not gullible. Hopeful.
  4. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I don’t believe in forgiveness cause I don’t think we should judge in the first place – it all works out. Yes.
  5. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I feel to extremes-Up.Down.Sideways. But I don’t prevaricate or apologize for it. And I don’t ask you to either
  6. Yes, it’s a positive trait. I don’t think I have ever loved by mistake. And I’m not sorry even for the ones that seem sad endings. All good.
  7. Yes, it’s a positive trait – I can follow my friend’s advice & list my positive traits on social media. Not ashamed to be crazy & volatile
  8. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I have enough patience to wait for everyone to be ready to be who they are and let me be who I am. I adapt.
  9. Yes, it’s a positive trait: You can fool me once. Twice. Three times. Infinity. I’m ok with being fooled – better than suspicion and fear
  10. Yes, it’s a positive trait: I’m strong enough to let you tell any story about me/us you need to- I know who I am/we are. All good. Love wins

LOVE – it wins? See, Alison? I GOT IT. Which leads to the song of the day – I GOT LOVE – two versions, one from last year’s SMASH featuring Jennifer Hudson (WHY WHY WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE CANCELED? GLEE IS STILL ON AND THAT SUCKS WAY WORSE. Sorry, Ryan.) and one from the 1972 Tony Awards featuring Melba Moore. (LOOK AT THAT SHOTGUN MICROPHONE? Remember those kids? We thought we were SUCH a big deal when we first had those around here in local theatre – ha – NOW, every kid and actor in any little podunk workshop piece of shit thinks they need a microphone to sing to five rows of people – IN THE OLDEN DAYS WE HAD MERMAN LUNGS, BITCHES – I PLAYED ENTIRE LEAD ROLES SINGING OVER AN ORCHESTRA TO THE BALCONY OF THE WEINBERG CENTER! Take a deep breath and sing, fool!)

What? Oh – right – I’m a little tangential and discursive today – COMMON when a new mood phase begins (YES, I said MOOD not MOON) – which is all good. But – one last thing – I’m gonna need help STAYING OUT OF THE CAVE – so, Alison, Allison, Andrea, Cody, Debbie, Diane, Pat, Sue (that’s alpha order) – I am – as one of you TOLD ME I SHOULD LEARN TO DO – asking for help – get on your spelunking gear and get me the fuck out of here – I need to walk in the daytime again.

I know I do GOT LOVE myself – it has just felt safer to forget and deny it for a while – because I didn’t want to experience losing anything or anyone else. But, here I am – dear Alison – don’t cry for me (or Argentina) any more (poor Dan!) – here I am – as I said . . . GOING. (But by “GOING” I do NOT mean in that all suicide-y way.)

5 thoughts on “. . . i got love . . .and a BOT that cares, too . . .

  1. Pingback: …2nd Post of the Day…just some stuff I (someone else) found… | herewearegoing

  2. What a blog! It’s an 11:00 show stopper that you and Patti could sing! I cried, I laughed, and most of all, I love you!

  3. I love you two, dear half of 2As. And thanks for last night. And all the nights. And all the love. And all the belief. And all the patience. You are one of the proofs that I have some good qualities – I must – else why would you love me so – SO – you have given me some FAITH! And – remember – I am HERE FOR YOU tomorrow whatever you do or don’t need (and any other day)

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