. . . losing it . . . or . . . lost . . .

ben13I can’t even make myself go to the gym. I think I’ve lost it. I. Do. Not. Feel. Connected. To. Anything. I’m not sad. Like I said – haven’t cried in weeks – haven’t even felt like it. Everything seems so completely pointless. No. That isn’t even it. Numb. No. Dead. And I’m not good for people. In fact, I’m bad for people. I move from the bed. To the couch. I feed and play with the animals. I water the plants. I empty the dehumidifier. I mop and vacuum. I read. I try to watch TV but that usually just turns into sleep. Last night a guy tried to text me at 2 in the morning. I’m so dead, I didn’t even wake up. Not that I care. He doesn’t even really know my name. Like that would matter. According to Google, I don’t exist anyway.

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