ZEITBITES: Pop-Culture in a size that won’t gag you . . .

ZEITBITES: Pop-Culture in a size that won’t gag you . . . April 25

Busy day, and you people HATE long posts. So, I’ll be updating a few times today in lengths you can take without straining anything . . .

ZEITBITE: The sequestration is serious business people. Bad enough that programs like Meals on Wheels and Head Start are being cut, thus starving the infirm and the aged, and putting out onto the streets, less-educated, latch-key kids from economically challenged families; but NOW, the U.S. Military has canceled New York City FLEET WEEK! What? Look Congress, get it together! Depriving seniors and children is one thing, but depriving New Yorkers of their annual bacchanal of semen flooded streets is inexcusable. What? Oh, sorry, that should be SEAMEN. Image

ZEITBITE: And here Anderson Cooper had been preparing the boys of Fleet Week with a health/helpful hint segment about the epidemic of zipper injuries and lubricating one’s zip-area with a candle. Wait, this is getting all Yentl. Anyway, turns out Anderson wears button-fly jeans. You see, once upon a time, Coop was in the bathroom of a bookstore and had to quick hide little Coop real fast and got it stuck in the zipper and – I liked where this story was going too, until he ruined it by CLAIMING he was eight years old at the time. SURE YOU WERE ANDERSON. It’s just this kind of backing out of the real story that’s gotten your show canceled. Here, let him tell it . . . then let me write about what I think really happened . . . see it was Fleet Week when CNN newsman . . . never mind. I don’t have time this morning and all I want to get to is the part where I offer to do the sort of First Aid I learned in the BOY SCOUTS to Little (and Big) Coop!

Gotta run . . . the disinterested men at the gym aren’t going to ogle themselves. I must say, my reflexes are improving from my workouts . . . every time I see a reasonably good-looking fellow approach, I quickly reach out and up the weight on whatever machine I happen to be posing working-out at the time from my usual 20-40 lbs to 120-140. It’s exhausting.

Here I am . . . going! Later loves!

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